Disclaimer: This blog is not for self-diagnoses. To have you tested for Borderline
Personality Disorder (BPD) or other mental illnesses, please seek a professional. This blog is for those who have been diagnosed by a professional and are now looking for help. Mind you, this is only a summary of what I have learned in therapy and researched on my own and considered to be helpful for my situation. I am sharing my experience to encourage others. However, this alone will NOT help you recover from BPD. Please see a therapist and take your medication, if you are able to.
Hello! If you are reading this, you might be suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and are looking for helpful ways to deal with your mental illness. Cool! Now, before we get started I would like to address the reason for this blog.
I got officially diagnosed with BPD in June 2018. Before that, I thought I was suffering from heavy depression caused by a major loss in September 2010. But then I realized that my depression is only a side effect of my personality disorder, which I must have had for good 10 years, if not longer.
At the time of my diagnosis, I had already been in therapy for two years to work on my depression. Which means I had to completely start over. And the way I am, I’m not satisfied with just going to therapy once a week for 50 minutes. No. I quit my full-time job which I loved so dearly to full-time engage on my recovery from BPD.
Quick side-note: Learning healthy coping mechanisms is good. But you will never recover from your mental illness, if you don’t find the root. I’m a big fan of digging up dirt from 20 years ago, ripping open old wounds and having sleepless nights in order to figure out what caused my problems in the first place.
Learning coping mechanisms is a short-term solution.
Getting to the root of all bad in your life is a long-term solution and will get you way further.
So I started my research. I searched high and low for the best books, the best videos, the best tips and tricks to heal from my trauma. I didn’t find much. If I found a video on BPD, it was something among the lines of “Start working out, go to therapy, love yourself”. Well, yes, that’s quite obvious. But I want to know more. I want to know all the details. I want a guide to help me figure out what’s best for my individual situation. So I started looking for online articles and books. And the results had me quite mad, maybe even a little bit angry. If you look up books on BPD, most of them were not written for you. They were written for your family, friends, partner. Now, that’s all dandy. Your loved ones definitely need to get educated on this topic and learn how to handle the situation. But what about me? What about us? The ones who are suffering every single day? The ones who are prisoners to their own mind? The ones who have thought about suicide because it seems like the only way out of this living hell that is BPD?
I decided that, if the world will not provide me with a well-written helpful guide that not only consists of tips and tricks but also worksheets and mindful questions to ask yourself in order to get to the core of my problems, I will do it myself.
So here I am, scratching every little piece of information together from all corners of the internet and my own mind to put them into words that not only will help me work through my problems, but also help anyone who is willing to work on themselves outside of their therapy sessions, anyone who is eager to dig up the dirt of their past, anyone who has been through hell and back and is ready to recover from BPD and to anyone who knows that their life was not meant to be miserable until the day they die. I know it takes a lot of energy to even get your butt out of bed and make the first step in the right direction. But I firmly believe that kindness is key and I’m here to provide you with the motivation you need to take charge of your existence and live a happy, fulfilled life.
In the following entries I will take you with me on the journey of recovery.
See you soon,
Eileen
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